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A guide for parents on navigating fears and building resilience in the early years.
Separation anxiety and fear about being with people who are not their main caregiver is very common. According to the NHS, this often begins around six months of age as children become more aware of their surroundings. No one likes to see their child upset, so this can be really hard on parents and carers too.
Important Note: Separation anxiety is a completely normal developmental stage. It does not mean a child has been “spoiled”; it simply means they might need support dealing with environments they feel uncertain about.
Every child is unique, so they won’t all display the same presentation of anxiety, but common signs can include:
Note: Some of these can be signs of other things. If you have concerns, speak to your health visitor or a medical professional for tailored support.
Absolutely. Leaving your child in the care of others, even temporarily, can cause high levels of distress and worry in parents. Some feel very guilty when spending time away, but it can be comforting to know that helping your child cope when you are not with them is essential to their development and will help them become more independent.
Any parents or carers experiencing extreme anxiety about separation over a sustained period of time (such as several weeks) should seek professional advice from their GP.
It’s not unusual for children starting nursery, whether as a baby, toddler, or pre-schooler, to experience panic and worry at first. The good news is that most little ones quickly become accustomed to their new environment and the team looking after them.
While there might be anxiety at the start of the session, it often only lasts a few minutes, and then the child is happily playing. As young children start to understand that you’re coming back for them at the end of their session, it tends to become much easier for them to deal with the moment you leave – if they even notice it at all!
If you’re preparing for your child to start nursery and you’re worried, it’s about finding what works best for your individual situation. Here are our top tips to navigate this transition:
Many children get more accustomed to it if separations are built up gradually from a few seconds to a few minutes. Leaving your child with someone they are already familiar with in a place they know can be a great way to start.
Some children get lots of reassurance from a favourite toy, item of clothing, or blanket. Having it with them when separated from you can help them feel comforted.
Doing the journey a few times with your little one can help them get accustomed to the route and the outside of the building. Talking positively about where you are travelling helps prepare them for the first time you go inside.
It’s normal to feel emotional, but keeping the goodbye short and sweet reassures your child. Smiling and waving happily stops them from picking up on negative feelings.
It’s absolutely natural for tears to be shed (often on both sides!) when first leaving your little one. Usually, within a few minutes, they are happy to get on with their day. If your child is pre-school age, you can talk to them about their feelings, tell them where you are going, and clearly state when you’re coming back.
We totally understand that some children find the transition to nursery challenging, which is why we have a phased approach to help everyone become accustomed to the new environment. While each setting tailors this to individual needs, it usually involves a parent staying at the nursery for short sessions, progressing to leaving them once they feel secure.
Our nursery teams are experts in helping children settle and thrive. Find your local Kids Planet and book a visit today.
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